…and buy metric crap tons of stuff to resell to you that you never knew you would ever need. This is Ax-Man, the coolest ever store that has ever existed…ever. And they just built one 2 minutes away from my house. Remember, buy 12, and the 13th is free!
Next time you hit the bar and you order that martini, not only can you scare the olive into submission, but you’ll have people looking and asking about the coolest toothpick on the planet. A toothpick…made of pure titanium. Why titanium, you ask? A better question is, why NOT titanium? Never worry about getting splinters in your gums again. These babies put those sad little white plastic toothpicks in swiss army knives to shame.
Where do you get these amazing little marvels, you ask? You can’t (at least not yet). But, they will be avaiable soon….watch for updates.
OK, I know this is dangerously close to a *shudder* News Item, but Holy Crap! This is better than the Underwear Gnomes:
Father and son treasure hunters discover Viking treasure worth £1m
Swedish Teens Find Viking-Age Silver Treasure | Viking silver hoard found on Isle of Man
According to Under a Black Flag, a wonderful work on historical piracy, the ol’ pegleg and eyepatch pirates very seldom if ever buried any treasure. But, apparently, if you have a beard and a longboat you do bury treasure. Pirates: 0, Vikings: 1
